I was prompted to write this blog after listening to Laura Kuenessberg’s interview of him for the Newsquest Podcast on Radio 4 – yes I am a gentleman of a certain age that now listens to Radio 4. His description of the meanness of spirit and bullying that went on behind closed doors chimed with me, as I am also a “victim” of the boarding school system.
According to the BBC
His memoir chronicles the abuse he endured when he was sent to boarding school at the age of eight.
Maidwell Hall in Northamptonshire said it was “sobering” to read about the earl’s experiences.
Northamptonshire Police said it was “working to proactively investigate” the allegations by Earl Spencer.
The 59-year-old, whose family home is Althorp, also in Northamptonshire, attended Maidwell Hall between the ages of eight and 13.
In his book, A Very Private School, he alleged both sexual and physical abuse by teachers at the school.
Speaking to BBC Radio Northampton, Earl Spencer said he suffered “migraines and nightmares, and was seriously troubled writing this book”.
In the early years of my work as a Child Abuse Lawyer, I came across a support group called Boarding School Survivors led by a very capable Nick Duffell. I read his book which argues most convincingly that sending children away from home and separating them from their parents is, per se, damaging to the psyche, if done at a young age ie under 10. It is like parting a child from their mother and is unnatural.
I was familiar with the thought that abuse, whether physical, emotional, or sexual is harmful, but the thought that the whole process is harmful was somewhat chilling.
I went to the Leas School in Hoylake, and Repton School in Derbyshire because my mother thought that it was the best education that money could buy. Fortunately my parents assured me continually that they loved me very much, and that they didn’t want to lose me, but that it was a sacrifice they were prepared to make for my benefit. I thus did not suffer the thought of being sent away because they didn’t love me, as I know some boarding school boys do.
I can remember to this day the heartache of being alone amongst a group of strangers, and the thought that I had no one to share my woes with. It was 1965, I was 8, and it was the era of the stiff upper lip. My memories of the Leas were good. It was not a school for the over privileged, and I did make friends. I also did quite well and became Head Boy. It built self-confidence, not because of warmth and kindness but because one was alone, and without parental support. It built a ring of protection from the harms of the world, which is emotionally unhealthy.
My move to Repton School at the age of 13, however, was another matter. This was a major Public School, populated by what I would describe as the typical over entitled upper class sons of the rich and successful. I felt like a fish out of water. I arrived, I guess, a little superior and over confident, having won an academic scholarship and been Head Boy for 2 years.
Someone in my peer group decided suddenly that it would teach me a lesson, and be good to send me to Coventry, and I don’t mean literally. Emotional abuse is the worst form of bullying, and is quite subtle. I was ostracised for about a year. In desperation, I clung to another group of boys for friendship, but became withdrawn, and depressed. Outwardly I would put on a brave face, but inwardly it was very damaging. I continued to suffer from bouts of depression into my mid twenties, but never sought formal treatment for it.
So what effect has boarding school had on me? Has it done me any good? Would I put my own children through it?
- I would never send my own child to boarding school. I would have missed them growing up, and the joys of fatherhood. I think it is unnatural. There is an argument that some teenagers might benefit from having to look after themselves and become independent, but not at the age of 8.
- Ironically, the combination of empathising with my father who was from a poor background, the bullying I received, and having to put up with over entitled boys who took their advantages in life for granted, made me want to act for the under-priveliged, and poor. The rich don’t need help but the poor and vulnerable need much more than we can give them. This is what drove me to become a campaigning child abuse lawyer without any doubt.
- Boarding School has made me quite independent and resilient, I would say. It is meant to breed leadership and confidence. I would like to think that the love and support that my parents gave me has had more of an effect than school, but I may be wrong.
- Somehow there is much more satisfaction to be gained from supporting the victims of abuse obtain justice, and helping them right their wrongs than making the rich richer.
by Peter Garsden, Solicitor. For help on any aspect of this article, or, indeed, any aspect of abuse cases, please contact us by filling in our form.
